I don’t know about you, but, sometimes there are seasons of life, that just can’t end enough. Suffering is present, hope is distant, and, joy is obsolete.
Tonight, I had the scariest moment of my life. I hit black ice going 40 miles an hour, I went over the barrier separating highways, and, found myself swerving to miss four vehicles. I wound up in the ditch, hitting a fence.
My initial thoughts are, I almost died. I could have died. I am okay with dying, but, there is so much I want to do. I am not the person I want to be. I’m not sure how I am going to pay for the fence. But, hopefully because it wasn’t an expensive fence that it won’t be too much to repair.
These thoughts of death lead me to a soul searching journey. One of the hardest things I live through, and, I think you may too, is that you’re not satisified with who you are or what you do.
It dawns on me though, that this season sucks. But, it shapes me so much. Every day, I am given the grace and love, to become a better person. And, even if I make the smallest step of faith, I am a little better than I was the day before. I want to be the type of person who cares for all people, loves all people. I want to some person a little more every day. I want to let go of any anger or bitterness I might hold against any person, if I can do this, I’d like to think I am a little better than I was the day before.
I don’t think any season should be wasted. When it is wasted, I slip back into who I was. But, when I remember who I was, and, I remember that I can’t be perfect today, and, all I can do is make some step towards being a more loving person, then the day wasn’t a waste, and, many of these days in a life, would not be a wasted day.
I believe, if we can do this, then our worst days are behind us. Because, all times, especially the bad ones, shape us into the people we want to be.