1-9, then 10.

I am the Lord your God and You shall have no other gods before me

You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God

Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy

Honor your father and mother

You shall not murder

You shall not commit adultery

You shall not steal

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor

For years, the 10 commandments have haunted me, with lifeless expectations that I didn’t believe I could meet.  Recently, however, I have found life in them for the first time in my life.

Someone showed me recently, that when we look at the 10 commandments as 1-9 and then 10, it reveals something interesting. 1-9 shows a life that can be seen by everyone. 10 shows us a life that only we can see. Where as we can see someone committing adultery, or stealing, or pick any of the first nine, the 10th, is something that is felt and experienced by the individual living the life.

What was revealed to me, is that when we participate and try to actually be 1-9, then we no longer desire the life of another human being. Because, as soon as we participate in a life for our neighbors and God, the desire to be someone else ceases to exist.

In the wake of my own attempt to be freed from my own self hatred, I have begun seeking this as a way of life, to actually love my neighbor and to actually love God, and, while I fail more often than not, I am finding, that when I submit myself to this process, the hatred that once consumed me so heavily, is diminishing more and more each day.

Here is to meaningful practice, and, an attempt to actually be love, rather than do it,

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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