If it is true, that Jesus is the truth and the truth will set you free, then why am I not set free? If I am not set free, if I do not live like Jesus, then do I really believe in him? Or do I just know about him and his teachings? Anyone, who is anyone, who tells you they believe in anything, knows that your beliefs shape you. So deep down inside, do I really believe in Jesus? Or do I just admire Jesus? Or possibly, like stated above, do I just know about him?
How can I be a future pastor if I don’t really believe in Jesus? Quite possibly, I am looking for people who are like me, and, recognize their own failings at living out like Jesus, but, they are committed to following him. In this way, we are moving towards belief, we are moving towards the fulfillment of Orthodoxy, which is, Orthopraxi. I can say that I have begun believing in Jesus, I have begun believing in his cause, which is love. Although, if you really know me, or lived a little tidbit of time in my head and heart, I don’t really love people, at least, as they should be loved.
I want to someday lead a Church of fellow heretics, who want to move towards believing in the right way. I believe in Orthodoxy, but, its utterly meaningless and empty, if we are not shaped by it. So until then, we are just heretics and hypocrites, who are hoping to move to a place that is a little more loving and a little less heretical.