Identity Reconciliation

There is a classic scene in the movie Zoolander where Derek had just been embarrassed because he had accepted an award he had not received. He became the source of laughter for the audience that evening, as well as the entire modeling community. As Zoolander was leaving, he goes to the water fountain and says “Who am I?”, to which the image of Derek in the water responds “I don’t know”. The scene closes with Derek being splashed in the face by a passing car after saying “I guess I have a lot of pondering to do”.

Do you ever feel like Derek?

Do you ever ask the question: “Who am I?”

Have you ever felt abandoned? Betrayed? Forgotten? Disrespected?

I think for many of us, potentially, all of us, when we’re honest, the answer is Yes.

The problem here, at least with me, and probably not you, because many of you who read this are good Christians who don’t ever feel resentment or bitterness, is that when you don’t live in forgiveness and reconciliation, the only viable option left is to forget the people who have abandoned us, betrayed us, forgotten us and disrespected or disregarded us, is either to hate them or forget them.

I don’t even have to flesh what hatred looks like, you can look at  your front page and find that. However, what happens when we forget others? Consequently, in our choice to forget all of our pain, done unto us, in perception or reality, by others, ourselves, or even God, we actually forget ourselves, because, if we forget enough of where we were, we have no history to draw from. We have no past experiences or memories to answer the question by the great Philosopher Derek Zoolander.

Our relationships is our DNA of Identity. Only the shallow man will define his life by his career, his possessions or his accomplishments. Rather, it is the healthy person, who understands that our identity is found in relationships. I am his friend, her boyfriend, his husband, her mother, a child of God, and, so on and so forth.

If our DNA is to look like Jesus, then we might have to participate in reconciliation or forgiveness, and, even worse, we may have to remember, because, without this, all we are left with is a shell of existence. Our lives will not be full of life or peace. Our lives will be full of resentment and anger, and, that’s no way to live.

Stay Classy San Diego!


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