Weak Men/Strong Men

M. Night Shyamalan made a movie a few years back called Lady In The Water. The premise of the movie was about a character who was living in this dream/nightmare state in real life, and, the people around her represented the characters of the story. One of my favorite characters was this guy who would lift weights, but, what was so great about him was not that he was so ripped or bulging muscle. He wasn’t, what was great about him was that he only lifted weights with one arm, he had one extremely muscular arm.

I feel like men do this in their lives. We lift with only one arm, rather, than endure a long hard road where we work all of our muscles in order to achieve that lean tone body. Now, all of this is metaphor, of course.

How many men do you see hiding behind their careers, and, then it comes out they have been having affairs with their secretaries, with broken women, with fragile women.

How many men do you see hiding behind their disease? They booze it up at night, and rather than admitting they have a problem, they go home and they beat their wife and children.

How many men do you see who have been abused or hurt? Rather than go to counseling and talking to others, like a real man, they go home and molest their daughters and hit their sons.

At the end of the day, I consider myself a strong person. Not because I have it all together (someday’s, far from it), rather, it’s because I have been that man above. I went to long not treating something, for sure. But, I know I have had daggers planted in my back, and, I know what its like to be stabbed in the back. I know I can endure the pain this life has to offer. But, I don’t think this is what is making me strong. I believe, what is making me strong is that for the past few years of my life, I have been understanding my limitations.

I know I can’t save the world, but, I can help save someone’s life today.

I know I’m not going to be the man I want to end up being today, but, I can take steps today.

I know my mind, heart and soul can only take so much, so when I’m exhausted and weary, its okay to need people, my fight is not in isolation.

The strongest man is the man who loves. For the man who loves has everything to lose. And, rather than fighting others around him, the strong man will weaken himself for others. Love forces a man to submit himself to others. The man who loves the most, will have to be incredibly strong to endure life, because since loss is a natural element in life, the man who loves much loses much. When death is a natural composition of our human experience, the man who loves greatly, will die greatly.

Listen guys, its okay if you don’t cry during The Notebook, but, it’s not cool to grieve when something terrible happens to you. And listen again, pretending to have your stuff together doesn’t mean you actually have your stuff together. You’re not loving the people around you by being a dick and sticking around.

Being strong in life truly means you have to be weak. Be confident in what you’ve endured and what you possess. Be confident in who you are and where you are going. But, don’t be so arrogant to believe you can do it alone and you can fight the world alone. Your arrogance will kill you and you’ll be the loneliest man alive.


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