Listen up Dr. Phil! I hate you and you hate me.

I think we as human beings all have something in common. One, we’re all human (I think its a good start). Two, we’re all driven towards people (friendships, relationships). Three, we all want to believe in something bigger than ourselves (God (in whatever form), Humanitarianism, Justice). Four, we all want to be loved (By others, by ourselves, and, if you believe in her, God). Five, you’ve got that stupid, arrogant, friend, that everyone in your clique hates, but, you can’t abandon them. The great Philosopher Dane Cook talked about his friend Brian, and, how every time Brian approached his group, everyone would say “Ahh Man F***ing Brian is coming”.

Now, recently I have had a lot of Brian’s in my life. I have recently been unraveling some thoughts, memories and experiences in my life that I do not particularly care for. Some days, I’m pissed as hell. Other days, I can hardly keep myself from tears. And, other times, I am as joyful as joyful as can be. I know, I know, I sound like a 14 year old girl after she just found out that Justin Bieber broke up with his 32 year old girlfriend and he is coming to town in concert.

In the Hebrew Bible, there was this guy named Job. And, Job started going through this terrible time in his life. Job lost everything, his family, his economy, his health. And, when Job started enduring this time, he was really looking for answers in his life. Luckily, he had a few Brian’s in his life. These fantastic friends came out of no where, and, told Brian that there was something that Job had done to God to piss her off, and, now she was seeking retribution. Job began in dialogue with these wonderful men, and, they got no where. See Job was a good guy, he was actually like the best guy, kind of like me. And, one day God decided to come down, and, the only one who was found blameless in her sight, was Job (despite all the treacherous things Job said about her). The only people who got the beat down, were Job’s friends for being sick, narcissistic, and arrogant pricks.

I don’t really hate Dr. Phil. But, I hate how people feel they can walk around giving advice as they please. When you give advice to someone when they don’t ask for it, here is what you’re saying “I’ve got everything right, and, you’ve got everything wrong. My way is the best way”. Its a pretty arrogant thing to say that isn’t it? If you’re the advice giver, did you know that about yourself?

Listen, no one is perfect, especially you. So we should really be careful about the words that leave our mouths. Because, you might find a person like me in Post- Justin Bieber distress Syndrome.

The band August Burns Red gets it right for all of us:

Open your closed mind and close your open mouth.
You’re pushing more, you’re pushing more than you are pulling.
Every word that you say passes through my ears
Before it even escapes, before it even escapes.

Open your closed mind
And close your open mouth.
You’re pushing more, you’re pushing more
Than you are pulling.

What we really need is less Dr. Phil’s, and, we need more listeners.

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2 thoughts on “Listen up Dr. Phil! I hate you and you hate me.

  1. Lauralew says:

    Just stumbled on this. Parker Palmer speaks at length in one of his books about the damage unsolicited advice can do, and why people engage in that behavior. And in everyday life, I’m pretty bad about recommending things without being asked; trying to be better about that. Who am I to tell someone how to live their life when it is tough enough to live my own.

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