Conventional wisdom fails us, I believe. Conventional wisdom tells us to look out for number one. To make sure we get our buck first, because, we live in a dog eat dog world and we have to kill to make sure we get what is ours.
Maybe Darwin was right. Maybe we do have an instinct within us, an instinct of survival. Because we sure do look for blood don’t we? It’s the comments that people make to us, they know how to dig the dagger deep. It’s the way people refuse to accept their position. Because when we are honest with ourselves, we all have enemies don’t we. Now unlike me, you aren’t near perfect, and, that’s okay, I can accept that about you, but, even for me, I have moments in which I think thoughts about people in an unkind, untrue light. It’s the moment when I presume judgment on the guy pulling up to me in my sexy 2002, who happens to drive a 2010 Range Rover, and, my thoughts already presume he’s a rich pompous umm Butthole. It’s crazy that I can even think that, I’m crazy, this guy never did anything to me, to merit those thoughts. I’m just scared of him aren’t I? He poses a threat to me, and, I need an enemy, so he makes do in that moment.
Meaghan Smith is this beautiful folk/indie artist, and, she has a way in communicating how I truly feel a lot of times. Recently, her song heartbroken has been so soothing for me. She writes in this song:
Oh- What’s The Use Of Fixing,
What Will Kill Me In The End?
Put Me Back Together,
I’m Still Heartbroken.
What A Bitter End
I Was On The Mend
We feel that way don’t we? When we have the strength to finally get back to our feet, it seems someone has the nerves to push us back down. Or, when we have finally healed from a very damaging moment in our life, either our wound is reopened or we still have to look at that ugly scar. Because, even when we have moved on and accepted the moment, that scar, deep down, reminds us of an inconvenience.
So what’s the point if I’m only going to get killed again?
I think the point is that we as human beings are really two things. The romantic within us is truly a glutton for punishment. You can call me Humpty Dumpty because I am obsessed with that wall. Or the part of our story that has wounded us. The second part is that we are a people who seek redemption. It is out of our heartbreak, that we have a unique passion, compassion and point of view. By giving out of the wound, we are truly finding some sort of healing and redemption. Michael Buble gets it so well, in his recent hit, Haven’t Met You Yet-
“I’m not surprised, not everything lasts
I’ve broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down”
Later to sing,
“I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck
Wherever you are, whenever it’s right
You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life”
The point is this, keep chugging away. When you’re dying, don’t stay down, try to live again. Your wounds will take time to heal, but, life possess a true beauty and hope that can easily be forgotten when we run away or sleep our existence away. And, maybe, we shouldn’t jump into the activity that so deeply wounded us, but, there are so many other areas in our lives that are a part of us becoming whole. Yes, we are heartbroken, and we were on the mend like Ms. Smith says, but, in the end, we have to listen to Mr. Buble, because we can’t give up, not if this life means anything. And, I sure hope it does.
2 Corinthians 4;16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.