Every night I close my eyes. I hear the screams, I hear the cries. I taste the salt of the sweat and tears. The cold feeling of brokenness, embraces my skin. Exhausted, my brain finally gives into sleep.
The clock ticks 60 times, 40 times. My mind awakens, body drenched and existence consumed in fear. The thoughts enter my mind:
“You can’t feel this way. Get this out.”
“Everyone is going to leave you if you stay here.”
“Get this out before it repeats itself.”
“What is wrong with you?”
The next two hours I spend dying in anxiety. Until I close my eyes, preparing myself to do it all over again.
The only way out of something…… is through it.