Falling in love is one of the best experiences a human being can ever encounter. Falling out of love is one of the worst experiences a human being can ever encounter.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend. And, we discussed how in our relationships with the opposite sex, our infatuation with them creates a fatalistic expectation. We see them through a filtered view, that places them in n like stature. When the relationship ends, they approach demonic like stature. The truth probably is, is that they’re somewhere in between. (If we wanted to go deeper, we could have a conversation about the subjective vs objective self, but, that’s boring, except for the 3 other people like me out there.)
When we treat people as anything more or less than they’re. We do not love them. Because, when we treat them as gods, we’ve placed them up on an altar, to be worshiped, not journeyed with. When we treat them as less than they’re, we’ve placed ourselves on the altar and we force them to worship us.
When we are image bearers of God. We are called to treat others like Jesus treated us. To treat each others with the same love that we show God. And, anytime we treat each other as sinners, we’ve destroyed the beauty in which one is made in. And, anytime we treat each other like gods, we destroy the beauty of God, with our fallen stature.
Over the past few months, I hit a wall, hard. I’ve come to realize how some things in my life, indicated something to me, that I was less than this image. I had been given a false understanding of myself. Every day I fight, notoriously, to gain this back. Luckily, through the grace and love of individuals I began to see, truly see, once again, what love is.
Love is dangerous. Love asks us to give ourselves away. It asks us to sacrifice everything about ourselves. Love is dangerous because it is a mirror. It reveals to us the worst in ourselves.
Love is safe. Love affirms our insecurities, our brokenness, our depressions, our anxieties and our fears. It is a mirror to our true self. It reveals to us, the best in ourself.
Because of this, Love is like an abyss. When we fall in love, we do exactly that. We fall. So, in one sense, there is incredible fear and pain in love, because, there is the knowledge of falling. When love is safe, it creates a bottomless existence. Falling with freedom because you’re safe. Safe in the presences of your lover. Why do you think death and divorce is so painful? We’ve landed without that safety net.