Now, I know many of you, like me, have never suffered from or don’t currently have depression. But, you may have a “friend”, who does. Now, I have a “friend” who talks to a lot of people, pastors, spiritual directors, counselors and psychologists, and, this is what my friend has been teaching me.

When suffering with depression, one might want to introduce some of the following things into their lives:

The first, is introducing positive thinking into their lives. Every hour, one should say a few nice things to themselves. Here are some of the things I say to myself:

1. Congrats Mike, you’ve achieved a 5 O’clock shadow. It took 2 weeks for you to get there, but, you’re there.

2. A lot of people think you’re gay. That’s a good thing, because, gay people have better tastes than straight people.

3. You’ve got a great collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from your childhood.

4. You’ve got a great head of hair.

5. At least I’m not a Calvinist.

Next, I affirm my good choices in my life and consider how I can prevent myself from falling deeper into a pitfall of destruction. I have a very important bracelet.  WWLLD? What Would Lindsay Lohan Do? I watch Bravo and E! to make sure I get consistent LiLo updates, so I can do the opposite of her.

Finally, make sure you something to get out your emotions. I used to have chronic eating issues (Go to Hell Taco Bell), so these days, I’m doing Yoga and Boxing. I’m trying to get me some Michelle Obama esque arms.

In all seriousness, Depression is a terrible thing and should be treated as seriously. One should realize, in the case of all emotions, that they’re here to indicate to us that there is something that wants to be dealt with in our lives, whether it be through depression, or anxiety, or OCD. If there are issues in our lives that are not dealt with, we must recognize the ways they create havoc upon our beings (physically, emotionally, spiritually). Make sure you have people to support you through it, and outlets to get it out. We are as sick as our secrets.


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