I’ve had a lot of free time the last few months. Taking time to re-collect my life, from points of serious exhaustion and dealing with years of the garbage of day-to-day life. So, during this time, I’ve watched a lot of movies. And, if you know anything about me, I am a SAP! I love chick flicks, romantic comedies (Although totally unrealistic they are) and tear jerker drama’s. I also love unrealistic violent movies (Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill saga, stuff like that). And, throughout the movies I’ve watched, there seemed to be this theme of soul mates and what it looks like.
One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. The movie is about an adult abused orphan named Will Hunting (Matt Damon), who is one of the most brilliant people on the earth. His past has led to him leading a life of crime, working jobs that hardly work within his academic skills (he’s a janitor at MIT). And, after solving problems for a renowned mathematician, he enters into a relationship with the mathematician for conditions of his parole. The other stipulation is that he sees a shrink (Robin Williams).
The relationship between Williams and Damon is a bonding one. Two brilliant people, living two different lives, with a very similar background. Williams, having worked through much of his past slowly reveals to Damon the ways that he hides behind his pain. The list includes hiding behind his intelligence, hanging around potentially destructive, but, loyal friends, and, doing things that fail to meet his potential. After a very formal meeting Williams asks Damon who his soul mates were, to which Damon responds a group of philosophers, sociologists, historians and psychologists. Williams promptly shows Damon throughout the movie that Damon hides behind ideology, while he’s trying to move him into honesty and love.
Recently, I saw another movie called The Solitary Man starring Michael Douglas. Douglas, is a chronic narcissist who throughout the movie has revealed to him the depths of his failure. He was on the cover of Forbes for being one of the most successful Car Salesmen. He left a woman who deeply loved him (Susan Sarrandon) and respected him, after the thrill of chasing 19-year-old girls. He abandons his adult daughter (Jenna Fischer) by sleeping with her friends, neglecting his grandson, and, mocking her good and faithful husband.
A turning point in the movie is when he is working with his friend (Danny Devito) in a Deli. He pesters Danny about why he doesn’t chase the college age girls in his town. Danny reveals to him that when he was younger that he would dream about these women before he fell asleep at night, but, what dawned upon him one day, is that someday these women would someday get old too. And, he already has his own old woman at home with him. One that he likes being around, one that he likes talking too.
And, I believe Devito understand what a soul mate is. Because, if we are honest, the person we desire to be with, will not be the same person now as they will be 30 years from now. When, I’m 70, waking up next to a woman, she probably won’t look like the 20-esque aged woman who are around me now. Chances are that by the person we marry, will have been effected by age. Either they will have not aged well because of genetics, she’ll have probably put on weight because of child-birth and a failing metabolism, some form of cancer may have hit her, she will have grayed, a freak accident may affect her. Humor, hidden behind immaturity and insecurities, will no longer be funny. I want to make damn sure that I can be with a woman who I know I will like to talk to when I am 70, a woman who can put up with my nerdy and introverted personality. A woman who understands where I’ve been, and, where I am going. As well, I desire to be the same type of accepting, positive and hopeful person, who will walk with her through storms and parades. I want to be the man, who wakes up to his wife who throughly enjoys her, and, would die for her without hesitation.
Soul mates are not something that just happen. They take time to develop. People are controlling and manipulative. It takes time to develop compassionate and caring hearts that will lead to selfless character and personalities. Soul mates fight for each other, with each other and against each other, to destroy the forces that destroy and to create the forces that create. Soul mates will leave all the baggage of the past to join forces to be with each other.