The destruction of beauty

Going to the grocery store is an interesting thing. When I go, I often find the magazines, you know the one’s I’m talking about, with the beautiful people on the front. Then down the other aisle, you see the obese person, in a panic to  grab for the last bag of Baked Dorito’s (cause they’re on a diet). And, we live in a dualistic culture, between extreme’s. That which worships the beautiful people, and, that which has fallen into a great despair from not being so. And yes, while there are plenty of people in between, at the end of the day, Kirstie Alley and Kevin James will always be mocked, and, Scarlett Johansson and Brad Pitt will always be celebrated.

As a near former 500 lb man(thank you), I know the tragic shame of being on the receiving end. Now, what I understand about eating excessively, perhaps to an addiction, you eat because of the brokenness you feel. Perhaps, because you can’t find acceptance in not being a “beautiful” person. Perhaps, you suffered some incredible trauma, and, you stuffed your feelings. And, now we escape the suffering we feel and the void of true community by feeding our mouths we food, that, satisfies us long enough to stay away from them.

The latter, unfortunately is also true. The beautiful people, push themselves to unhealthy limits, because, they also do not feel like enough. In order to fit in with an elite part of society, they force themselves to not eat enough, to find the acceptance that daddy or the other boys in school never validated in them. So now, instead of trying to find true community, we find life in the amount of glances we receive from men and women, because, deep down inside, we don’t truly feel comfortable with who we are. So while you are at the gym and not in the cafeteria, I hope you know, you are as lonely as the fat person you alienate from yourself.

What is true, is that those who suffer, while often experiencing things like cynicism and anger, develop a type of beauty, that often has to be cracked to be found. And, when we are able to say “I feel alone because they I am not enough for them, but, its okay because I know that I am beautifully made”, or, “I feel alone and try to find acceptance through the glances men/women give to me, but, its okay because I am beautifully made, and, I don’t need them.” It’s not until we are able to extend to ourselves grace can we understand this, the body is important, because, it’s the shell. The soul is important, because, it is the essences. And, without a shell to encapsulate my essence, I am utterly alone. And, without an essence, my shell feels alone.

Beauty, is meant to be discovered and experienced in such a way that allows to experience community with ourselves and enhance our essence, not, to degrade that of others. Protect your essence, by, offering the shell its proper treatment. Protect your shell, by, attending to your essence. Extend, to yourself, and, to others the grace necessary to say “YOU’RE ENOUGH”.

So, the next time you’re at the grocery store and you look at the magazines, be kind to yourself if you don’t look like Scarlett Johansson or Brad Pitt, and, know, that your essence is what truly matters. And, if you do look like Scarlett Johansson or Brad Pitt, be kind to your essence by not trying to find approval by how much the cashier drools over you.

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