I often don’t remember a lot about my early childhood, but, what I do remember a few things about it. 1. I was a chronic thumb sucker and 2. I had the best Superman pajamas known to man. I wore these pajamas everywhere. One morning, I tore a hole in the crotch region. A hole large enough for a little boy to have a piece of dangling flesh casually make appearances.

What happened for a while after this developed a habit for my pre-school era, as well as many other little boys developed during this time, we became obsessed with our penis’. When I was a little boy, every time my pajamas made an adjustment, I would laugh and grab myself, I would get yelled at. “Don’t touch yourself there.” “That’s only for the bathroom”. These were all women yelling at me, because, every man knows that your obsession with your penis never really ends.

In Genesis there was a guy named Adam. I imagine Adam looked like Fabio, or, the guy on the cover of a Danielle Steel novel. One day, his beautiful significant other, ate from a tree, because, she wanted to know the knowledge of God, so she could be like him. Adam, embarrassed about what had just happened, went behind a tree embarrassed. Embarrassed by what his wife had just done, his role in it, and, about himself. And, when he had to leave the garden of paradise that he was in, he was embarrassed about his penis, and, thus begins the vicious cycle, that we as men have fallen into.

The closer I grow to God, the more I know what he wants from me is to stand before him naked, unashamed, and fully accept myself, because he fully accepts me as I am. The past few years of my life has been in my constant search for grace. To love others and God, as they are. To allow God and myself, to love myself as I am. And, the more time I spend in this eternal pursuit of grace to heal my shame, I’ve learned one thing, the more grace I can extend to myself, the more I can give to others.

So the next time you see a little boy playing with himself, smile, that he has the confidence and acceptance to do so. And, while I don’t recommend you imitate him, this country has strict laws against that, I recommend you not shame him, but, rather embrace his freedom, and, try to imitate it yourself.


One thought on “Shame

  1. Tof Lee says:


    Well penned my friend. Well said. Shame is a real B.

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