I’ve found time to talk to a lot of married women over the past few days. Conversations on the train or with women in the town, and, I’m finding a lot of things that are being repeated, over and over again.
These married woman found out, that there high school hunk, were not such good husbands, because they weren’t good listeners, they were more interested in themselves than their wives.
That a good man pays more attention to you, than the beautiful woman that just walked by.
That sex is not good if you are not emotionally caring for each other. One woman, had married the college hunk, and, they divorced. When she got remarried, she said the sex to her very average looking husband was far better than with her college marriage.
That marriage is more about day-to-day care, than how funny he is, or how well he can entertain your friends. Its about how they listen to you. How they treat you in your anxieties, depressions and insecurities. Its about how he treats you.
That a true man will sacrifice himself first for the family. He deals with his issues, he lovingly takes care of the families issues, and, he treats everybody with tenderness and compassion.
All of this got me thinking about what marriage looks like, at least, what it should look like. And, here are somethings I’ve learned from the failures and successes of others:
1. Spouses should reveal Jesus to each other. They love them in a way that brings life to death. That reveals to them how truly beautiful they are.
2. Spouses learn how to communicate.
3. Spouses learn to be patient with each other and themselves.
4. Husbands place wives beside them, not under them, or in front of them. They take the blow, when the train is coming, but, the wife is there to help pick him back up.
5. Its about day-to-day care. And, whether they can care about how their day at work went, and, giving each other massages and cuddling while watching movies and Glee!
6. Being grace filled and compassionate people, when you fail your husband and wife daily.