Last night I went on a walk. Out of an attempt to alleviate some anxiety, that usually sticks with me. I was praying and God was reminding of a quote from a Fransiscan Priest named Meister Eckhart, he said “I pray that God rid me of God”. What followed was an unraveling of the ball. God continued to ask me to abandon everything I knew.
What I know about myself is this: I enjoy stupid things. In High School, I was constantly pulling pranks on people. I spent way to much time watching Family Guy, South Park and the Chapelle Show and listened to Dane Cook more than anyone should. When I lived on campus in college, I was in constant attacks of T-bag’s and naked men surrounding me, so, I did my fair share of streaking. Meanwhile, staying up way to late playing war video games on my computer. I enjoy doing stupid things that cause pain, I could see myself on Jackass 4D someday. What I know even more about myself is this: I have a heart for people who are searching. People who are wrestling through things like shame, betrayal, addiction, abuse, anxiety, depression and general heartache. I struggle with anxiety because I am one of those people who are searching through myself. Most days, I like myself. Some days, I don’t.
What I know about the world is this: Sometimes, I don’t like it. I can cynical about Christianity, because, I don’t like what I see around me. I don’t like politics, or, politicians, and, unless you are extremely endearing to me, if you are passionate about it and you count on it to instigate change, I probably won’t like you. Because, what this shows me, is that we have been conditioned for power over each other. We are so afraid to be weak. We are controlling, manipulative, vindictive, cynical and cold. Maybe, not all of those, but, we all have problems, because, we have been seduced by the worlds attempt to maintain power over each other. I like the world, when we surrender this power.
What I know about God is this: I believe he is love. I believe he is grace. I believe he is Jesus. I believe he is truth, and, the truth sets you free, even though that takes more time and more work than I often prefer. I believe, when I am in relationship with him, when I hear from him, when I obey him, life has nothing more to offer. My desires are satisfied through something perfect and pure, rather than something imperfect and broken, and, I am able to give back more to the imperfect and broken. I could offer a bunch of fancy words that I learned in Bible College and the hundreds of books I’ve read, but, I don’t need to show off, and, many of those words don’t always mean a lot to me.
My prayer this morning, was that God would rid me of everything I know. Whatever I know about myself, the world, and, God would be thrown out the window. The most important things in life, to me, are faith, hope and love. Most importantly love. If I say I know love, then I become content with love. And, love is limitless, because, God is limitless. Love is supposed to be the root of everything that I obtain and give. If what I know about myself is not in rooted in love, it does not look like the image I was created in. If what I give to the world, if I do not see others as worthy of receiving my love, I neglect the image they were created in. If, I do not receive love from God, I can not love anything, including God. Obedience, submission, sacrifice is not possible to anything or anyone.
So this is my plea to you, abandon everything you know. And, while there is a lot of work that has to be done through this, I believe, we can change everything about ourselves, and, the world, through a God that is not short of faith, hope and love. Last time I checked, we could all use more of that.