One of the most influential thinkers in my life, over the last year has been a Philosopher named John D. Caputo. In his book On Religion, Caputo writes a passionate self-emptying piece in which he writes in a poetic way “If love is the measure, the only measure of love is love without measure.” When we know that Love has infinite value, infinite worth, it possess self-sacrifice, it does not allow us to think about number one, it is the salt and light of the earth, because love is the light in darkness, it is the salt that preserves who we are. As Soren Kierkegaard explains in his book Works of Love, Love does not belong to the person holding it, but, love belongs to the object or subject of its desire. When you love something, it overflows from who you are. It is impossible to hold it back. Love is self-emptying, like Christ on the Cross. This is the first Truth I’ve learned in Love. It is infinite in value, because God is Love. It is infinite in Worth, because, it comes from the best part of my soul, God in me. It creates an impossibility for you to not be self-sacrificial and self-emptying.
I am, in my personality, in my experiences, an extremely committed, extremely passionate and extremely sensitive person. There is very little to what I will not do for my friends and for the few serious relationships I had with girls. Being that I am extremely committed, extremely passionate and extremely sensitive, I have experienced great pain on behalf of my relationships. The second Truth of love that I have learned is that we need to learn how to contain our love. Because there are moments when people will not reciprocate the same commitment, passion, sensitivity towards to us as we are going to give to them. I’ve experienced the pain that Henri Nouwen describes in the Inner Voice of Love “You give whatever people ask of you, and when they ask for more, you give more, until you find yourself used, exhausted and manipulated.” Its only when we learn how to contain our love, will we not feel this wrath. When you are able to respect yourself, you will be able to respect the lack of others abilities to give love to you.
The third Truth of love that I have learned is that I am not a very loving person. My understanding of love have been contaminated by my personal experiences of “love”, the worlds concept of instantaneous and fleeing love, as well as the religious concepts I have been given about love. I have learned there is nothing I can do to make God love me any less. And, the only way I can overcome my flawed love, is to let the divine perfect love of Jesus come in contact with who I am. When I let Jesus wash my feet, when I meet Jesus at the Cross, I experience True love. It allows me to experience my True self, the part of my soul that is made in his image. When I am able to live out of that place, it is no longer me, but, God who lives in and through me. When I let God serve me first, then I can serve him and others. This is the third Truth I have received on love in my life.