Thoughts on Women from a Man

This weekend I had a conversation with a woman who had recently turned 30. She was telling me the struggles of being a woman being 30 when the society shows how women who are getting older are getting less attractive, while men who are getting older are getting more distinguished and attractive. And, then there comes the desire of having children and the toll this takes on your body and doesn’t help to bolster your own self-image. In a society where vulnerability, love and compassion are mistaken for weakness, she displayed such beauty in being open with me about her struggles.

While sitting down and reading at a coffee shop, I overheard a girl in her early 20’s say to her friend “If I was only skinnier, then my boyfriend would love me more.”

I had the privilege of meeting an Asian woman this weekend, and, she was telling me about the struggles of not only being a minority, but, also being a female. She told me how she wished white people wouldn’t fear minorities, and, how redemptive it was to have a white man listen to her story and struggles.

This morning I woke up to the news that my little sister was in the bathroom at her college, and, heard a girl sobbing on the phone. She went over to check on her and the other girl had just found out that her mother had died. My sister sat with her, consoled her and was present with this girl in her suffering.

By every definition, people would classify me as a Mama’s Boy. I spent most of my childhood crying and sucking my thumb. Over the past 24 years, I have only learned to suck my thumb a little less. I am remarkably sensitive. I had a conversation not to long ago with a man who told me I was over sensitive. My only thought was “well, that was insensitive.” I feel like I owe a lot of this to my own mother, who her herself is extremely sensitive and caring. A passage that has always stuck with me in my life comes from 2nd Timothy in which Paul exalts Timothy for his faith because of the faith that resembles that of his mother and grandmother. I feel like good Mom’s pass this onto their children. Good mothers teach their children so much.

We live in a gender dominating culture. We men have made progress in allowing a more free and open culture, but, we are still oppressive. We have defined women by their appearance, ability to nurture and create life, and, ability to serve us, rather than allowing them to define themselves and viewing them as God views them. We have stripped them of power. We have stripped them of a voice. A voice that has so much to teach us and give to us.

Over my short life, women have shown me a remarkable beauty. In a world that is not okay, women constantly show me how its okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have darkness. It’s okay to have ambiguity. They live in a beautiful surrender to this reality of life. In the case of people like my sister, they are called to exhibit grace in very painful situations. Women have a way of seeing the beautiful and creative beyond men (this is one of the differences male and female brains). There are somethings that exist beyond logic.

My hope is that we can create a generation of men who can create opportunities for women. So if women want to be mothers, care-takers and supportive wives, we can create this opportunity for them. But, if they want to be CEO’s, politicians, pastors, teachers, this reality also exists for them. We, as Christians, cannot continue operating on this level of inequality. My hope is that we can create a generation of men who learn from women, care for women and create for women. I believe this is the Kingdom of God, where there is no Jew nor Gentile, no Slave or Free, no Male or Female, we are all one in Christ Jesus.


14 thoughts on “Thoughts on Women from a Man

  1. Jenn says:

    This is so beautiful! Thank you so much for recognizing the uniqueness of women and appreciating it.

  2. Bonny Clark says:

    I like this!

    As women, I think we really just want a partner who will walk alongside us in the journey. We (aren’t I clever, speaking for the entire female population LOL!) don’t even want, I think, men creating opportunities for us. I think the opportunities are there, if we’re willing to grab them.

    Blessings to your little sister for being there with her friend during such a tough time …

  3. Nicky cahill says:

    Wow! Thank you for this Mike. So
    Incredible and almost like you read my thoughts on some Things. May God smile
    On you. Nics

  4. jenny says:

    I can’t tell you how timely this post is for me.

    As a woman i am humbled and so thankful in reading this.

    I can’t tell you how many times ive been looked down on for being woman, told that the ministry God has called me to do is wrong.

    Thank you. From the Bottom of my hear, thank you.

  5. Andrea says:

    The song “more beautiful you” by jonny Diaz comes to mind as I read this. Good song for girls and women, affirming who they are. 🙂

  6. lboogieiowa says:

    Thank you and Amen!

  7. felicemifa says:

    Well put – as a woman who often finds unconventional paths and who has, as I’ve been told, “a masculine mind”, I appreciate you putting all this to words. Women just need the freedom to be who they are.

    I think that’s what we all need. Yes, it’s hard to be a woman, but it’s also hard to be a man, for some of the reasons you touch on. Men should be allowed to be sensitive and nurturing as surely as women should be allowed to be driven and powerful.

    • reneamac says:

      Good word, felicemifa. I don’t think women have a way of seeing the beautiful and the creative in a way that’s beyond men’s capacity for doing this. I do think it might be more socially acceptable for women to see and express creative beauty and truth, be sensitive, spiritual, etc.

      At any rate, good post, Mike. Striving with you for redemption.

      • mfries05 says:

        Oh I’m not disagreeing with the capacity of men to see the creative and beautiful. Richard Rohr reminds us to see life in multiple ways. There is a very logical and rational tendency in men that have the capacity to create things that help people very much. Medical science is very rational, but, how its helped people, is very beautiful.

  8. Grace Terry says:

    thank you.

  9. Diane Rivers says:

    A young man with a great perspective and much wisdom. How blessed you are to have been raised to be sensitive! Thanks for your post.

  10. rachael says:

    Amen! Just this morning God impressed upon me a prayer very similar for the men in my generation and younger after complaining to Him out of frustration and hurt for myself and several young women I know. He gave me the prayer and peace and almost as validation I came across this post. Thank you for sharing! Encourages my certainty that God is up to something great for His men (and women)! 🙂

  11. you know I often want to end my posts with the whole in Jesus there is no Jew or Gentile, but I’m not sure I’ve given much thought to there is no male or female. That’s huge. Wow.

  12. La Leigh says:

    i’ve read the previous blog you’ve wrote and ended on this. I can only say, “i am happy!”

    Happiness because of your ideas and love for women like me.

    In my country, some women (that is grandmother, mother, sister, niece, aunt) are abuse and unloved.

    When i became Christ-believer/follower, i’ve also come to know beautiful women in the scriptures that Jesus Himself got acquainted with and He showed love, care, and importance. And these women never left Jesus even to the point of His death.

    Thank you for a “HAPPY” post…may love always shine onto your heart.

    God bless you abundantly, exceedingly and more than you could ever imagine.

    Greetings from the Philippines.

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