I have an IQ of 157, which by IQ standards puts me in the top 1-2% of smartest people on this planets. Over the years I have built an identity around this. I process information remarkably easy. Over the years I have used my intelligence to get my narcissistic fix. I have used my intelligence to belittle others and build my own false ego. I have used information as a weapon, not as a blessing for their personal formation.
The more that I look into my own identity, I find that I have built it upon false fabricated self-giving meanings, when deep down inside I am lonely, scared and broken. When I come to grips with who I actually am, I find that I am remarkably lost and remarkably human (which strips me of any entitlement I feel that I have).
The answer for our identity is not found in fight or flight but learning to embrace what is. I no longer have to fight people with my gift of intelligence and I don’t have to flee from who I actually am. My true identity is not found in something that I give to myself but actually what God has given to me as his beloved. Until we experience our actual worth all we will ever have is false fabricated and self-given worth. Our gifts will be used to fight against others and as a tool of flight from our actual self’s. Until we experience our actual worth and our actual identity, we will never truly experience the actual blessings that our gifts can give us because they are used to protect and fight with, not bless and love with.
May you find your true self today and realize that it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with what you can earn and achieve. It is the Truth that is so simple to see that we are actually blind to it. May you experience your true identity, the identity that is found is something that is so Holy Other than you, that you can actually experience your own self-worth and not build it.