Proberbs 31 Man

For years, I have watched women tear themselves apart about how to become a woman of noble character. They submit to the some of the highly non-ideal traits of this passage. I think this passage is speaking of a type of woman. One that is not only loving, but respecting. One that is truly for me, not just what the ideal woman does for the ideal man. Here are some thoughts on what I think it means to be a Proverbs 31 man:

Who can find a virtuous and capable husband?
One that is more valuable than fine chocolate.
His wife can trust him,
His presence will deeply bless her,
He protects her dignity and loves her,
All the days of his life

He will learn to be assertive when he needs to,
He will learn to be passive when he needs to,
He will help drive the kids to practice and events even if he is tire,
He will be engaged with the finances and the chores,
He will learn to love her mom and dad,
He will turn off sports and watch Katherine Heigl movies

He will remind her that she is a woman,
He will affirm her beauty and his love for her,
He will actively listen to what she has to say,
He will only fix her problems if she wants help with them,
He will make date nights a priority for their well being,
He will not be engaged with her passions and desires to make those

He will smoke cigars and drink scotch (if that’s okay with her),
He will rub her shoulders and back after her long day,
He won’t be afraid to cry in front of her after enduring something hard,
He will be strong and move towards confrontation,
He will learn to love and trust in her wisdom,
He will ask her how her day was and listen to her

He will clean out his hair in the sink after shaving,
He will put on deodorant so his smell doesn’t contaminate the room,
He will take care of the kids and the situation if he wants some loving,
He will see foreplay as necessary if he wants to keep getting loving,
He will do his best to help make the bed in the morning,
He will do his best to give her the knowledge and humor that she needs


Is there anything that you would add to this list (or subtract)? What makes a good man or husband?


11 thoughts on “Proberbs 31 Man

  1. Emily says:

    something about loving Jesus is helpful too. 😉

    But seriously, I love this. One of the biggest things I’ve noticed since becoming a youth minister is learning that we need to teach young men. So many times we tell the girls to be ladies, to say no to men, and all of these things. But who is teaching THE GUYS? Who is telling them it is OK to treat women a certain way? They need men to teach them as well.

    So yeah, I love this!

  2. Carmel says:

    Add: “The Proverbs 31 man will read this every day …” : )
    Mike, how’d you get to be so smart. ~ carmel

  3. Diana Rose says:

    Very well put together. I like this a lot. Thank you for your thoughts

  4. Culotte says:

    The beam I am wearing while reading this cannot be properly conveyed through a tiny little emoticon. Thank you for vocalizing this, if for nothing else than to bring encouragement to some of us single women who wonder if men that believe in this actually exist. Why look, you’re one of them. 🙂

  5. Laurie M. says:

    Several weeks ago I wrote a piece called “An Excellent Husband” as a sort of follow-up to a post I had written months earlier expressing my take on “complementarianism” called “Whose Wife am I Anyway”, which a prominent Reformed blogger discussed on his own blog, somewhat misunderstanding my point. My “Excellent Husband” is both a tribute to my own husband and my own take on a Proverbs 31 husband.
    If you’re interested, you can read both articles here:

  6. corey says:

    Nice! A shameless “this is how I’ll get the girls to like me” post 🙂

  7. CLR says:

    “He will make walking with God his utmost priority” (which of course leads to wanting to be a good husband to his wife).

  8. jenny says:

    I found great humor and truth in this post.

    I was reading Proverbs 31 a awhile back and the proverbs 31 man popped right out of verses 1-9 for me. He was one who defends the rights of the poor and needy, who opens his mouth for the mute and for the rights of the destitute. It’s right there, we just skip down to the female oriented part. But a man who’s so focused on the world, on the needy and not on himself… that’s on great man.

  9. Laurie M. says:

    I like what Jenny said, and would add to it that the Proverbs 31 man respects, takes instruction, and gains wisdom from a woman, in this case his mother, who also happens to instruct him to look for a formidable wife, someone to respect.

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