Over the past few weeks I have been battling spells of anger. I remember standing in line at the Video Store for 20 minutes and in my head I was saying to myself “What the hell is wrong with these people?” “Can’t they see that I have things to do?” In my head I was dropping four letter words. I grew more and more impatient. The sad truth is that we are as big as our anger. In that moment, I was very small.
A few days ago, I was sitting at a restaurant around about 10 women. In a moment a thought came to my mind, three or four of those women have been sexually abused. I started feeling rage. I am sitting around catastrophic present and past suffering. Because for these women, things like pleasure and goodness have been destroyed. They live day-to-day life trying to escape it so they don’t have to feel the pain of that wound. They close themselves off to others. Others who love them. The God who loves them. The God who can heal them. I left the restaurant and went to the local gym and ran on their track. And, I’m praying in my head “Why God? Why?” “Why is it this way? Why am I getting so angry?”
One of the healing stories in the life of Jesus came after he got angry with the Pharisees who are trying to protect laws which includes not healing others. In his anger, Jesus told a man “stretch out your hand” and the man’s hand was restored. Jesus anger lead to a persons healing. Jesus anger restored justice.
When we get angry, it is our mind, body and soul telling us that something is wrong and we need to deal with it. Maybe, if you’re like me there is something bigger going on when you get angry over something as small as waiting in line over a stupid movie. And, it’s really saying deal with your problems, something is going on inside of you. And, hopefully we can learn to embrace the anger of Jesus. When someone gets hurt or wounded, when someone is the victim of injustice, we learn to channel our anger for healing and justice.
Don’t silence your anger. Its giving you direction for healing, justice, calling and vocation.