In Matthew’s Gospel there is this interesting statement that says those the people who want to find true life, must first learn how to lose. And, those who do lose their lives will find it. Several chapters later the author makes another statement like this ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’. It seems that things like marriage and sex, hold this unbelievably beautiful grace to the writers of the Bible. Because when we are willing to surrender our lives over to God and to each other, that this state of oneness, rather than separateness is truly what God designed for creation. God did not desire for human beings to live with such distance with each other. In this way, sex manifests spiritual bonding far beyond our brains comprehension. This state of oneness, was God’s ultimate reality, ultimate desire and ultimate hope for all relationships.
I once heard Scot McKnight say that the Gospel is the reconciliation of all things. It’s the repairing of all relationships, Humans with God, Humans with Humans, Humans with themselves. In this way Sex holds powerful implications to the Gospel. If those who lose their lives find it, then sex has healing power to the individual. And, if this person enters a selfless union with another human being, then this oneness reconciles that relationship with each other. All the while learning to love the God, who gives them this glorious gift and grace. This state of oneness is truly the intent of life. Becky Patton writes about this oneness like this “Each time a couple comes together sexually, there can be an interweaving and a deepening of their relationship that builds on each previous sexual union. The roots of being bound together are meant to fortify and build upon one another. Making love to one for multiple years can hold a deeper “joinedness” that comes from having experienced this intimate and powerful interaction on a regular basis. Exploration and creativity are meant to grow and flourish— something that no one night stand or casual encounter can offer.”
There is something to be said about the beauty and exploration of each others souls. And, when we discover someone’s soul in sexual relationships, we learn that this soul does not end. This is the mystery of love. This is the mystery of sex. This is why sex, although all forms of sexuality presents its one struggles, is so exciting. Its exploration. Rob Bell in Sex God says this “To pursue being naked, you have to believe that this person is worth getting to know for the rest of your lives. Being naked is peeling back the layers, conversation after conversation, experience after experience, year after year. Its rooted in a belief that the soul has infinite depth and you’ll never get to the bottom of it.” This is the beauty of dating, and marriage. It’s all about finding that eternal soul that we cannot quite discover, which is why this person is eternally beautiful and drives us into awe and mystery. This is the beauty of oneness. This is the healing power of soul’s connecting.