The philosopher/theologian Thomas Aquinas once spoke of two types of Truth: Truth that is rational, and Truth that is intuitive. Based upon our personality, our way of processing information, most people tend to line up on one of these two sides. They can understand the analytical, yet miss the transformative, deeper levels of why it is true. Or, some people live in a highly emotional state, they live in what Stephen Colbert has wonderfully called “Truthiness“, true because it feels true. Neither of these are bad, but somehow, at least it appears that without the other side, it’s not quite complete. Somehow, we’ve managed to disconnect faith from science, rational from intuitive, but as Aquinas, or brilliant minds like Albert Einstein recognize, we can’t disconnect them. There is not disconnected Truth, it’s all connected. If it’s all God, God is all and is in all (Eph. 4:6). God is the big and absolute Truth.
What spirituality, at least Christian spirituality, teaches us is the danger that human sexuality can present to us. We live in a culture that celebrates casual sex, friends with benefits, and other forms of dangerous sexual expression. What Christianity teaches is the sacredness of oneness, two people becoming one. Two people fusing into one mind, one heart, one will. Paul teaches the value of mutual submission, in which wives are called to submit to their husbands, and that husbands are called to sacrifice for their wives like Christ did on the Cross. This form of sexuality is beautiful and bonding.
Neurochemistry is showing us that there is a chemical in the brain called oxtocin. When human beings participate in sexual activity, oxtocin is released into the brain and is what makes sexual expression such a bonding experience. This is a reason that shows why couples who aren’t having sex with one another, seem to have a decrease in their affection for one another, they become less attracted to one another, and why not having sex can drive people apart. Yet, when people have too much sex, or with many partners, oxytocin then greatly affects your brain from bonding with another person. Paradoxically, having sex with multiple partners reduces the levels of your oxytocin.
What science and spirituality are teaching us are the true dangers of human sexuality, and yet the incredible blessing that both can be to our lives. It seems to agree that we were not meant to handle being outside of a loving, respecting, committed, and sacrificial relationship.