Do Not Be Offended

I have been greatly rewarded by learning from my impulses and reactions. It seems that this is really my unconscious self. (which is at least as important, if not more important than that which I am conscious of.) When we find out what we find offensive, we learn who and what our idols are. I believe that humiliation and failure we lead us to a greater sense of who we are, and in some weird way humbles us enough to received Truth and grace from God. Which is why the only people who can handle Truth and grace are those who are truly humble.


5 thoughts on “Do Not Be Offended

  1. Pat Pope says:

    “When we find out what we find offensive, we learn who and what our idols are.”

    Interesting thought. What I have found, is that when one never defends one’s self it can lead to deep resentment. I think there are times to speak up in one’s defense, otherwise, it becomes an offense. You’re offended at the perceived offense and angry at yourself for not speaking up. I think there’s balance needed here.

    • Mike Friesen says:

      I know this resentment that you’re speaking of. My thought towards myself has been, “What am I trying to protect?” And, if I am trying to protect something, why would I defend it?” And, if I am trying to defend something, how can I be vulnerable? And, if I can’t be vulnerable, how can I receive healing and grace?

      My thought to this resentment has been Romans 12:17-19,
      “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

      For me, if someone has wronged me, it is not mine to avenge it is God’s.

      • Pat Pope says:

        True. For me, it has been a finding of my voice and speaking up because if people do not see anything wrong with their behavior, they will continue to act and speak in ways that are offensive. I think as Christians we should be concerned NOT to offend.

  2. Michele says:

    I love Rohr’s thinking here. People who know themselves truly at an unconscious, soul level, rather than just dwelling in the surface-level ego are the ones who can achieve true equanimity. They are not threatened by others’ opinions, which are small-minded and ego-based. They are able to absorb a potentially threatening statement in love; there is no build-up of resentment. It is the ability to truly turn the other cheek and feel no need of retaliation, and I believe it is a realistic goal on the path to enlightenment.

  3. Pat Pope says:

    Yeah, I’m coming into this because my background is such that my mother is a conflict-adverse person and taught me directly and by modeling to keep the peace, which is not always the most peaceful or reconciling thing to do. Lack of conflict does not always equal peace. In any event, I learned last year just how much that had affected me in some relationships and now I’m not allowing people to get by with things that I do find offensive or disrespectful. For me, that’s where the balance is. To sit quietly by, swallowing the offense is not healthy. I guess I just haven’t yet reached the maturity of overlooking personally offensive comments and actions. Maybe I’ve gone to the other extreme, but I believe I’m where I need to be after sitting idly by for so long. I think right now I’m in protection mode and the pendulum will swing back to center in due time and after being in healthy environments in which I feel I can truly be myself.

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