I have been greatly rewarded by learning from my impulses and reactions. It seems that this is really my unconscious self. (which is at least as important, if not more important than that which I am conscious of.) When we find out what we find offensive, we learn who and what our idols are. I believe that humiliation and failure we lead us to a greater sense of who we are, and in some weird way humbles us enough to received Truth and grace from God. Which is why the only people who can handle Truth and grace are those who are truly humble.