Cynical And Doubting Christianity

I love this video, it sketches what was ultimately true of me for a long time. I have doubted, deconstructed, and fought against the Christian religion on the on the outside, while on the inside I have held onto a great source of hope and delight in God, or the ways could be. And, even though I deconstruct, I don’t have the cynical anger towards, like I used to, towards Christians who degrade the hope that I hold onto so strongly in my private self (maybe, what Jesus called the inner room). We live in cynical times but I don’t see all of the cynics deep down inside as a threat or a source of disappointment towards Christianity. Just as I understand why someone believes publicly but doubts privately, I also understand why someone doubts publicly and believes privately. To me, they are both necessary parts of the journey.


2 thoughts on “Cynical And Doubting Christianity

  1. I think I’m with you, Mike. I just came through a few weeks of being nearly obsessed with finding answers to a few specific theological questions. None as broad as “do I believe in God?” (That’s a pretty boring questions, really.) But more along the lines of what I believe about God, who he is and how he works. The questions bred some confusion that I will admit clouded my prayer life for a little while. But in the middle of it, I think the question that plagued me the most was, “How can I, at my core, be so deeply and honestly in love with this God (and I am), all the while doubting and questioning everything I know to be true about him?” I haven’t found an answer to that one, but I was thankful for the peace and calm that assurance gave me to explore.

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